Stoking the Fires!

There are moments in life where the present situation is unenjoyable, but is needed to get down the road where you want to be. Always try to find the silver lining. It's like taking that pungent medicine that tastes so foul. It may taste like a rotting shoe. In the end it helps, but it isn't something that you want to do again. That's the way I feel about grad school. There is something to be said about to much schooling. I've just about hit that point. To much book work. To little real world. I'd say they couldn't pay me to stay in academia...but they kinda are paying me for the next 17 months (to my luck).

I try and live in the moment. Take in life as it comes at me. Enjoy the rays and cherish every morsel. I've said it before, and it bares repeating, but people plan to much to die in this country. Good to have a backup plan, but not good to live for retirement. So not to get stuck in the repeating record again. Just saying to enjoy whats in front of you and try new things as they come.

Which is a nice intersection into my next thought. Becoming mature and "growing up" is fine and dandy. It's something that should naturally come with experience, age, and consequently wisdom. Our society, that being in the United States, just LOVES to squash childlike tendency and imagination. To dream nearly makes someone weird. Those who do keep their dreams and spread their wonder across the land are considered "weird" or "nonconformists". I raise my cup to those who do what they want. Keeping that childhood dreaming going is rather easy for some and next to impossible for others. I've never lost it. I find amazement in most things. Nature. People. Which are part of nature. The key is to find that which inspires the imagination. Stokes the fire of curiosity. And curiosity is the one thing that I've never had a deficiency of.

In my childhood, past the age of 3 or so, I never traveled. My Mother is practically scared of her own shadow. She did take me hiking quite a bit. That could be one reason that the forest is one of my happy spots. A zen type of atmosphere, if you will. I dreamed of traveling off into the sunset and exploring anything and everything. I love to explore. To poke around and find what there is to find. To get my fingers into the soil. To climb the tree and see what is across the horizon.

I've never lost that will do explore. Less of a will and more of a deep seeded need. Thankfully, I have the skill to describe my thoughts and experiences through words. I suppose my youth has led me down the road of wanting to live a more nomadic life style. In this day and age we have many options on how to go about this. I'd always wanted to just live anywhere and everywhere, but i do remember the moment, some years ago, when i discovered the wonderful world of the motorhome. It was like some grand epiphany. I was rooting around in my Aunt's book collection (she has one of the most extensive garden book collection i've ever seen) and found a gem called <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Rolling-Homes-Handmade-Houses-Wheels/dp/089104129X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1361648284&sr=8-1&keywords=rolling+homes">"Rolling Homes" by Jane Lidz</a>. You want to talk about an obsession made real. I can flip through this book for hours on end. It may have been on of the first books on the subject. This was literary coal for my internal fires. Books do this to me, but this one in particular was very high BTU. You know, if you look back at your life (any one of you reading) you can find defining moments. This book became a defining moment. I wanted to live in one of these rolling homes. Most motorhomes are full of prefab floppy poor quality material. Weight is an issue for gas and tire reasons, but that doesn't mean you can't make it "home". I've always loved cruising yachts for that reason. The woodwork is more homey. One can do this to a motorhome if you know how. In some case people don't care. Just look through "Rolling Homes" and tell me there isn't a personal touch in every one of those.

My brain gets thinking about how exactly I want to handle my "Rolling Home". Do I want an RV, travel trailer, or tiny home on a railer (trust me these are distinct).

or

or

Home is where you lay your pillow and find comfort. I hope to find a place one day that I can dock and find comfort.

Nature

O Nature! I do not aspire
To be the highest in thy choir, -
To be a meteor in thy sky,
Or comet that may range on high;
Only a zephyr that may blow
Among the reeds by the river low;
Give me thy most privy place
Where to run my airy race.

In some withdrawn, unpublic mead
Let me sigh upon a reed,
Or in the woods, with leafy din,
Whisper the still evening in:
Some still work give me to do, -
Only - be it near to you!

For I'd rather be thy child
And pupil, in the forest wild,
Than be the king of men elsewhere,
And most sovereign slave of care;
To have one moment of thy dawn,
Than share the city's year forlorn.

"Henry David Thoreau"

“If you look the right way, you can see that the whole world is a garden.”
― Frances Hodgson Burnett

Nothing but pure pipe!

One thing that has perplexed me for as long as I can remember are people who live life with no goals. I believe one shouldn't look to far down the road, but having a few long term goals will give one a direction. The Baby Boomer generation has planted this idea that retirement is a good idea and strives for it. I don't feel that "retirement" is an option...for one that same generation has screwed us who are younger out of proper retirement anyway. But why do I really care think about having fun when i'm sixty...striving for a truck load of money...working myself half retarded...spending my good years in a cubicle (if you choose that route) or a factory floor (of one kind or another) is so pointless. Right now I have myself anchored to my graduate school for the next 17 months. I will follow through with this. Not following through with a plan is worse than just wondering what it would have been like. Besides, this is testing my metal to see if I can do this. It is a goal and I will finish one way or another. Does it make me happy? I don't think so. Sometimes what you think will make you happy doesn't at all. Sedentary life does not make me happy. Nope... But back to goals. Having the goal to save up for your twilight years seems so damned pointless to me. When your dead, that's it. I'm not saying not give yourself a little room for contingency plans in the light of something crazy happening, but just living to save up to die. Dude...your doing it wrong.

A goal should augment your life. Direction can be important. I feel it motivates the soul/essence in important ways. Goals invigorate the imagination. Goals give forward motion in expanding the mind. Goals keep the body young and active. The last thing a person needs is to just slap down in front of the boob tube and degenerate in front of reality T.V. for the next 40 years. 100 years ago a person would be horse whipped by family members if they ended up so lazy. Some of the greatest tools of the modern age are also some of the most exploitable for terrible reasons. Television and the Internet are two of them. Both can be fantastic learning tools or mind deadening distractions from the real world. Connecting with nature is a goal unto itself. In some cases it's a reconnection. I feel that most of society has lots any form of connection with nature. This is such a shame.

Another aspect of goals is the fear of failing. I know this one all to well. I'm shy. I'm full of fear. I've been told that i'm arrogant. That is not the case. When I am scared my mind tries to bolster itself. Buttressing itself with bravado. This is my nature and I try and overcome it. My mind flies with dragons and fairies (I have a fantastic imagination). So why shouldn't my physical form attempt to flap it's proverbial wings and soar into the great blue sky? Fear? Failure? The concept of fear has held my will down for so long. I will not hear of it anymore. The willpower it took to move out of state to graduate school was profound. A first step toward greater goals. If a person wants to do something...simply do it. I know, I know. I should take my own advice. Trust me, I am trying. Some folks have the luxury of not being shy or scared. This is one thing that makes life so interesting. Everyone is as different as a snow flake during a blizzard. I would have it no other way. Plunging into the world head first is one of those terrifying, yet exhilarating, acts that I feel everyone should achieve. I'm not talking about going out of your home and to the nearest 7-11. No, i'm talking about visiting a new city, or state, or country. Talk to people, see what there is to see. Do not be afraid of failing. If you are on vacation in another place try something new. Even if it doesn't work out the way you would have thought you have at least tried.

Trying new things is the spice of life. I know, a very over used term, but true. Doing the same thing day in and day out will leave a bland taste to life. Set a goal, try it, and if you don't like it at least you can say that you did it and it wasn't for you. Granted there are some things you just know you don't want and don't want to try. That's fine. But don't' back down from the things you do want to do. And if something presents itself why not give it a whirl? What have you got to lose?

From personal experience, I spent far to much of my life being tied down to fear. Dreaming of the cool things I wanted to do, but would probably not because "I couldn't". Couldn't has been erased from my dictionary. I can do anything that I want. I can't put my finger on the moment that my mind locked into living things under my terms. It may have been when my grandmother finally passed away (a pivotal point in my life...a blog for another day). It may have been during the two years of job hunting for a "real job" that showed me how much I don't want a life ruled by another persons sanctions. It could have been a spiritual upheaval and renaissance of sorts. Or all of that smashed into one ball of epiphany. Whatever it was my goals have been drastically changed. Constants in my life are moving like around and disappearing. New things are coming into being.

Change. Goals will change as a person changes. I feel sorry for individuals that do not change. Personal and spiritual (i'm not Christian...just spiritual in general - whatever the persuasion) growth is just as important as about anything one can think of. Let those goals morph as you morph. Follow the path and if you see something neat then head for that.

I think that is enough introspection for today. Enjoy the last days of winter. The spring is just around the corner.

“It is good to have an end to journey toward; but it is the journey that matters, in the end.”
― Ernest Hemingway

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
― Albert Einstein

“If you were born without wings, do nothing to prevent them from growing.”
― Coco Chanel

“Be practical as well as generous in your ideals. Keep your eyes on the stars, but remember to keep your feet on the ground.”
― Theodore Roosevelt

High Tech | Low Life

A way of life, to be sure. What the phrase "High Tech, Low Life" really translates into is simplicity. One gains inspiration from the darnedest places. In this case it is just how I grew up. How my friends grew up with me. Not everyone has the same ethos, but a little of it has seeped into us all. In my case, home wasn't the most conducive habitat for a well adjusted individual. I will spare the gory details for now. I ended up either living with my friends and using my car as a giant foot locker. I never really ran away from home, but for a good many years I pretty much only slept at my parents house...and at times not even that. These were the days before reasonably priced cell phones (think of the big bricks) and lap tops...Hell most of that time if your computer had 128 megs of RAM you were in the butter zone. So i lived out of a back pack and my trunk most of the time. It wasn't until after high school that i started buying stuff. I'm still not a fan of mp3's, though...a different rant for a different day. I have a pretty big CD and record collection. There are ways of condensing this. But i'm digressing...again.

Inspiration is a big key to anything one does in life. Artists, scientists, gamers, knitters, athletes, and about any body doing anything one can think of are in need of inspiration. If society, as it keeps trying, has crushed your inspiration and imagination then give a brother a call...you need help. For me I find inspiration from music, books, and the people that i know. If the title of this blog isn't pointed enough, I'm a big William Gibson fan. I find so much inspiration from cyberpunk literature in general. This goes back to how I grew up and what my friends and I were into for most of our lives. Even now when talking to my oldest friends I see everything from personal to political ideologies that have a ring of cyberpunk philosophy pop through. Maybe i've spent to much time thinking about this subject. Maybe i'll write a blog some day about cyberpunk philosophy. Who knows? Not me...i just put fingers to keys and words end up on the screen. Another big inspiration is music. I've gone to shows, danced, played in bands, and collected. I suppose part of my life decisions come down to the touring life style. At this point i loathe hanging out in bars 3 plus days a week. I don't drink and hate the smell of cigarette smoke (for those far few places that allow smoking inside anymore). I don't mind it now and again to see a band. I always had more fun either on stage playing (big duh!) or traveling with my friends. We were never bogged down with junk. We had the gear we needed and the basics to survive. Now days i can think of a plethora of things that would have made life more comfortable, but you know what they say about hindsight. It's a simple and fun life. If only we made more money than none. That would have been the tits!

Another biggies in my life is nature. I just don't understand how a person can not interact with the natural world. The forests, oceans, skies, caves, deserts...they are all so beautiful. The feeling of wind blowing across your cheek on a spring day. Cool and damp, but warmed by the sun. I once worked at a call center for a hot second. While there i met a guy who had been so cooped up in the urban world that he had never been in close proximity to a cow. Let me say that again. HE HAD NEVER SEEN A COW. I'm sure there are urban settings that are foreign to me. For sure. But to have never seen a bloody cow in the United States...in a city with a nick name like "Cowtown" (Columbus, Ohio) is just insane. In this world one of the back bone portions of simplicity is nature. In nearly all places there are free parks to visit. Nature preserves. Wildlife preserves. Protected monuments. Rivers and lakes for canoeing. The list can go on. Part of the high tech/low life ethos is to live in the world and take part. For me this involves working with nature, but it can also mean just taking your kids or dog to the park more often. It really comes down to your caring about your life.

Our past makes us who we are. It should never lead you around on a leash, but it should put the future in perspective.

Until Next time...

“We see in order to move; we move in order to see.”
― William Gibson

Salutations and good evening.

I've always been terrible at beginnings. A point and place with no real baring, at least in my case. This venture may be a bit different as the ideas I will present here I have been dwelling upon for some time. Sure, there are folks out and about that are one up on me and living a stripped down life style. Better late than never. At the present moments in my life, and for the last several years, I have come to not enjoy buying needless items. Material objects are nice, but hinging ones life upon belongings is no way to live. I have close family who are eyeball deep in "stuff". You can call this what it is. Pack ratting. I've had to deal with this and to be honest was headed down a similar path.

...then one day after trying to clean through a family owned house that was stuffed full I came to the conclusion that I wanted nothing to do with this type of life. Keep in mind that I do have hobbies. I want to keep at my hobbies. This is factoring into the way I am approaching all this. Over the last several years since that time cleaning that house I have gotten more and more critical about the things i purchase. Does it have more than one purpose? How large is it? Do I really need it? Frankly, most people should have these thoughts when purchasing anything. Now granted if one has a house the weight issue may not be a factors, but you get my point. There are just some things that a person doesn't need. Or for that matter a person doesn't need 3 or 4 of. I do not understand houses that have more than 1 TV. Cable is pure garbage, but i do enjoy cinema. That being said, I don't want a television in every room where I am living. My mother has a TV in nearly every room in her house. It just baffles me. So whenever i buy something these days I really scrutinize over it.

So when I got the idea to live in a camper of some kind I really got serious about doing some research. I had to decide if it was right for me. I originally had the idea of living in a boat. A sailing rig. This has a few problems for me. I enjoy working. My profession is in forest resource management, conservation, and environmental studies. Living in a boat limits my income potential. Until someone invents forests on the open ocean I'll stick with land based full timing. I had this idea some years ago, maybe seven. I love the look of a sail boat. Though, that is for later thought. So, once i decided on camper living I started researching. I am currently still researching. You see I am not procrastinating by any means. I am currently in graduate school. This is a good and bad thing. Good that I have time to search out all the nooks and crannies of this life style.

There is another aspect to my decision that I'm sure every post college student can get behind...Student Loans. If there is one thing I hate it is debt. The generations before mine were so greedy. They had a multi-bed room and bath house and needed a boat, 6 cars, and a vacation cabin while only making 50,000 a year. On top of that they hadn't even paid off their house yet, but lumped all those other items up on credit cards and loans. Yes, i know that is an extreme example, but come on...everyone knows someone who has far to much stuff that they can't pay for. I'm all for hobbies, but sometimes it gets ridiculous. Maybe i'm just thrifty by nature. I have friends who will by those "toys" from people at a cheap price and set them the way they want them. But now I'm digressing. Where was I? Student Loans? Yes. I don't know many college students who aren't eyeball deep in loan debt. I am one of them. The banks have it rigged so most people will pay back 3 times the amount you actually owe because of insane interest rates. Without getting to political, this whole loan jazz, important as education is, can be seen as a racket. I value my education, but I will not be held down for the good years of my life by a mountain of debt. So this choice to live lightly will hopefully help me pay things off with a bit more speed.

As you can see I've thought about this in depth and I have many reasons why I want to live this way. I enjoy traveling as well, but that's more of a perk of the life. However, with 18 months left in graduate school I have some time to go before I can push through with my plans. Thankfully, I have a supportive mother who is also letting me store some of the things I either won't be able to fit in the rig i choose or just don't want to get rid of. Not everyone has that particular option, but I do and will be utilizing this. One day, not any time soon, I wouldn't mind having a log cabin and doing a homesteading type of thing. That will be some time down the road. The great thing about life is that there are so many options. I've never seen eye to eye with the average 'Merican life style. To each their own, I suppose. If we all thought alike than life would be boring.

I think I have rambled on enough for the moment. This is just the beginning of a long journey to find balance. Until I find a rig to sink my teeth into I will be posting my thoughts on certain subjects here. I'm also a modeler, miniature gamer, and role player...yes...I have some nerdy hobbies...so I will most likely post some photos of that stuff here.

I hope you join me for this wild ride that I've assigned myself. It should be fun and educational.

Now i search for my star. To guide myself into the storm front.

~~ Gabriel

| Oh, no, it is an ever fixed mark
That looks on tempests and is never shaken.
It is the star to every wandering bark
Whose worth's unknown although his height be taken. |

__ Shakespeare __ Sonnet 116